Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Matilda - The Musical

Our Little Vampire is a month old today. What an exciting time it has been! (Exciting, synonymus with breath-taking and dangerous?) We seem to be a lot more in control of things now, though, which is nice. When I think back (through the fog of confusion and terror) to the first 2 weeks, I am amazed at how much better things are now. And at how UNPREPARED I was about how difficult it would be. Have I said that before? (YES YOU HAVE!) Here's a joke for all of you that have children: Before Matilda was born, I actually signed up (and paid) for a First Aid course that would take place 3 (count them, one... two...three) weeks after I had Matilda. The course lasts 2 weekends, 6 hours every day. I thought, no sweat, Peter can come with, I can give her to him and nip out and breastfeed her when she's hungry. That's all she'll need, right?
Ummm.... yes. Luckily the nice people let me reschedule the course... For March. HOPEFULLY I'll be more able to multitask by then.

Peter has started work again on Monday, and I stayed alone with Matilda for the first time. Scary, but it went better than I thought! After the initial shock, I found that if I give her a short feed when we wake up, I can then stick her in the pouch and go around making breakfast without her complaining... Then I finish feeding her after I've put some caffeine in my system (Ah, the wonderful world of addictions!) To add to the list of my achievements, I have also managed (while alone with the baby) to:
Cook dinner (more than once, too!)
Wash the clothes and fold them
Paint my toe-nails (Just once, ok?)
Wax my legs
Go grocery shopping
Make the beds
Wash the dishes
Visit my neighbour

All Hail Super-Mum! (I might be getting just a TAD carried away here, but I'm just managing these things for the first time, bear with me (Or bare with me, breast-feeding joke, get it? Nudge-nudge snigger.) Here's a snippet of wisdom from the expert: if you have a baby in the pouch, don't wear socks. SO convenient to simply pick things up from the floor using your toes, instead of having to bend down. And good for stretching your muscles as well; hey, it's practically yoga!

Also, this week I've dared to go out of the house with the pram for the first time. All previous times, I just had Matilda in her pouch, but Thursday it was raining, so I had to take my chances with the pram. The reason this seemed like such a task that I had to put it off, is that it requires planning and speed worthy of an army operation to keep the cat in the house, the baby in the pram, and my sanity (almost) intact. If you're interested, here are the steps you have to follow to achieve a simple walk with the pram, if you're me:

1. Put Matilda in the Pouch.
2. Close Domino in the bathroom.
3. Open the door, and take the pram out.
4. Get back in and close the door. The baby is still in the pouch at this stage.
5. Release Domino from the bathroom.
6. Throw Domino's toy for him to chase and rush out the door while he's busy. (Try to avoid banging the baby's head on the door-frame at this stage.)
7. Check the pram is still waiting outside and no one has stolen it or thrown empty crisp packets in it.
8. Remove Matilda from the pouch and place her in the pram. Lock the door.
9. Remember you forgot your wallet inside. Bang head on door. (This step is optional and, frankly, best avoided.)

Our cat is still being very sweet, as he has been since Matilda was born. He was babysitting for me the other day. Matilda was in her pram in the kitchen and I was chopping veg, ready to pounce and pick her up if she started fussing. Domino got on the pram and sat on the hood, with his tail swishing around, and Matilda was so transfixed watching him that I managed a good ten minutes of chopping and washing before he got bored and went off to chase flies.
He also regularly goes upstairs while I'm sitting on the sofa breastfeeding, picks up one of the soft toys Matilda (Ok, I) have and brings it downstairs and deposits it on the sofa next to me. He's not supposed to do this, but it's soooo adorable I can't tell him off, and besides if I do, I suspect he'll simply stop bringing me the toys, and I'll have to chase for them around the house instead. However, the other day he decided my sanitary pads from the bathroom would make a good present and he proceeded to bring me the whole value-packet of pads I had left sitting on the shelf (leaving a trail of pads leading to the bathroom behind him.) Then he went back and brought me the discarded pads too, so all was well. Not a party trick to show guests, but I sure thought it was funny!

Domino had to go to the vet last week, and forego his masculinity for ever (he got castrated, ok?) He had developed an alarming habit of trying to hump our arms. I spent the day worrying sick about him, and he came back bright and full of the joys of life, so all was well. The vet sent him back with a pack of special food we were supposed to feed him for the first 24 hours, which he promptly gobbled down in 5 minutes so then we had to treat him to boiled chicken breast. Other than a certain emptiness between his legs, he's the same as always, only better behaved. Although he does still try to hump us some times, which is hillarious. (*Humpety hump rub-rub* *confused pause* "Wait, I seem to remember something exciting used to happen when I did that, what's wrong now? Blast, I never have any fun around here. I'll go eat instead." *walks away looking dignified*)

Apparently, sleep deprivation makes you creative, so here are a couple of songs I sing to Matilda:

(To the tune of Love is All Around)


I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes,
The poop is all around me
And still the volume grows...

You know you stink and
You always will
And I feel terror at the nappies you fill
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
To all the changes
I must attend!


It's all right
It's ok
We chew boobies every day
With a knick-knack
Paddy wack
Give the boob a bite
I will drink your blood all night!

But hey, don't let me make you think motherhood is no fun!
Here's how it's worth it:

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Sarah said...

Hey - that's more than I'm managing months later! (DH is at home full-time, so I've never yet had to spend a day taking sole care of my little one. Besides, I never wax my legs _or_ paint my toenails.) Good going!

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