Tuesday, February 21, 2006

When I was 26...

... It was a very good year
It was a very good year
For married bliss
And nappies full of poop
And feeding baby gloop
That I would mix,
When I was 26

Recently every time I look in the mirror I see more and more white hair on my head and it's freaking me out a bit. You know how you spend so many years not really liking yourself but thinking maybe some day somehow you'll manage to get thin/fit/pretty/organised etc. Then, one day it dawns on you that not only will this never happen, but that you've already been as thin, fit and pretty as you'll ever be. In the past. The days are gone. Now, if you know me you know I'm not especially vain, but it has been a bit difficult to bend my mind around the fact that it seems I went from my-life-hasn't-quite-started-yet student to grey-haired, podgy(-er) middle aged-looking mum. (Incidentally, I know several of you reading my blog are either older than me or used to go to school with me, and right now want to kill me. I'm sorry! I honestly don't think people who are 25, 35 or 45 are old or unattractive. Unless they're me.)

I had to sit down and think about this. Because, as prone as I may be to self-depreciation regarding my looks (and this is totally different to being vain, you understand. It's being anti-vain. I am the black hole of vanity. Compliments within a 25 km radius get sucked in and collapse until they are the size of a single dot -oh wait, or is it a pimple?!) even I realise that generally, we want to be attractive because we're hoping it'll get us what we want in life. And right now, I have everything I would have said I wanted from my life if you had asked me 5 years ago. Everything. I just wanted to put that down in writting, so there is no room for misunderstandings. I've got a lovely, wonderful, gorgeous husband, who, as an added bonus, still thinks I'm kind of nice (-Despite? -Because.) I've got an amazing baby (even if she's a bit annoying sometimes,) I've got a house, a cat, I'm healthy, my friends and family are healthy, I've had an education I enjoyed, and I can stay at home and be Matilda's mum full time. My life is perfect.

So don't get me wrong, I'm not really complaining about getting old.

I just wanted to get it off my (middle aged, saggy, wrinkly) chest.

1 comment:

genevieve said...

I know exactly what you mean. I used to like to think I was ok looking but last week I looked in the toilet mirror at work and a 38 year old looked back at me. Either the mirror really is a toilet mirror or motherhood has taken its toll. Personally, I think it is the night duties. Mum's with babys that have always slept well seem to look so much younger. My white hairs are coming thick and fast now (luckily not quite so noticeable as I'm blonde-ish). So I'm determined to grow old gracefully and start getting really expensive haircuts and dye my locks.
If your blog photos are accurate, you still look in your fit, early twenties to me! And as I say to nearly everyone around me; we'll never be as fat as when we were pregnant. I've got the photos to prove it!