Monday, December 10, 2007

The illusion of normalcy

Today it was my birthday. It was also a horrible, horrible day. Somehow, it all started going wrong in the morning. I kept screaming at Matilda, Matilda kept ignoring me when I was talking to her; the screaming upset Philip, and he started crying too. Matilda was getting upset because I was yelling at her, and she was really whiney, looking for reassurance I suppose -but I didn't have the patience to give it to her. And the cycle of whining and screaming went on and on. The entire day has been so bad, I felt dead inside -I felt like walking wrapped up in cotton wool, I longed to just get under the covers and ignore everyone. I called Peter to whine at him, and I must have sounded so bad that he dropped everything and came home two hours early -he probably thought someone would be dead by the time he arrived if he left it to five.

But then, at some point during the day, in a desperate attempt to silence the whining I put Matilda on my back in the wrap (she wanted to go "in the orange one".) And she fell asleep there (while I was vacuuming no less - I am becoming a cliche!)

The screaming commenced soon after, but for a while... Bliss. Kissable cheeks and long eyelashes. The moments that always get caught on camera, and the ones you remember afterwards. It's not a wonder I'm desperate to have more babies -blame technology.

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Dolores said...

Happy Birthday Anna! Sorry it's a day late! Sounds like you were having a tough day-- so glad you did the sling thing with Matilda, it was perfect for both of you!

Marvellous Em said...

Hey, Sorry you had a birthday like that! I took a photo of Joshua when he was about 2 having a tantrum because no-one ever believed me that he was ever grumpy! It always makes me smile to look at it now! :o) Hope you are ok now!

Christine said...

Happy Birthday Anna.