Thursday, May 08, 2008

Adventures of a reborn virgin

Yes, the previous post about reborns was not a coincidence. I was trying to prepare you lot for my admission. I am addicted to reborns. And they're bleeming expensive. So I decided to get some supplies, read some tutorials and try and make my own. I ordered a baby Chou Chou play doll from ebay to practise on, and a reborn Kit (head and limbs plus body slip), mohair, rooting needles, weighing material, paints and other paraphernalia.

Almost all my reborning supplies decided to arrive today in 3 batches.

12:10 First my baby Chou Chou arrived. I was pleasantly surprised -it's very small, quite delicate and quite heavy. You could actually make it nice if you knew what you were doing (mwahaha!) My rooting needles arrived from Tinkerbell too, and I was really curious to see what rooting felt like. One problem - my mohair was ordered from the USA and is the only thing I don't have right now. Still... Where there is a will, there is a way.

12:15 I clip some hair off the cat and try and root eyelashes. (He's got loads, he won't miss it.) The hair was too short though, and it kept blowing away every time I breathed.

12.22 Since I can't root faster than I can suffocate, I need another plan. Next I cut some (longer) hair off my fringe. I start stabbing the baby's eyelids (they were right, it IS therapeutic!) Hey, the vinyl isn't as hard as I had heard!

12:40 A few mishaps and one hairy eyelid later I managed to improve my aim and root eyelashes on the RIGHT eye of the doll. Then I clipped them with my embroidery scissors. It doesn't look half bad. Then I have a look at trying to take the thing apart. It looks like the body is sewn on the limbs... What the? How do I take it apart, and how on EARTH do I put it together again? At this point Matilda arrived, fell in love with the baby and decided that it is called Letters (???) it belongs to her and I have to stay away from it.

Result: One baby Chou-Chou with one eye with rooted eyelashes and one without.

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13:16 Ok so I'll have to jump straight in with my Lillian kit. This came with a body slip. Wait... The HEAD is off, but...yes... the arms and legs seem to be sewn on. WHY???? WHY??? HOW do I take the blasted thing apart?
Never mind... I'll just do the head.

13:30 I can't find any instructions for the Genesis paints. I mean how to mix them. Oh well. I wonder if I got the right thinner (it said for oil paints) I remember Nazdaq on the forum I was on said Genesis is oil based. I hope she's right. Oh well...

13:35 Rub rub rub pounce pounce. Ok, looks ok. Bake. (Heheh... Genesis are heat set so I have to stick the baby in the oven ever so often)

13:50 It looks a bit chalky and a bit streaky. I wipe it off with acetone and try again. Blend with cotton wool this time. Bake.

14: 05 Better. Try to paint some veins on by dipping cocktail stick in Phthalo blue. Doesn't seem to work. Oh well. Try blushing next. I mix red and blue and flesh and it seems nice. Pounce with sea sponge, dab with cotton wool on cheeks. Apply with finger and blend with cotton wool on forehead, nose, chin, and earlobes. Looks nice. Also blush lips with same. Bake.

14:20 Very happy with my blushing. Add some more red and paint tongue. Looks a bit patchy... Oh well, maybe the baby could have thrush! (Added realism...) Mix some burnt umber with flesh and try doing eyebrows. Ooops. One seems to be higher than the other now. Blend with cotton wool. Draw streaks on with cocktail stick. Try making them a bit thicker so they can look more even. Blend with cotton wool. Draw streaks on with cocktail stick. Blend with cotton wool. Draw streaks on with cocktail stick. Blend with cotton wool. Draw streaks on with cocktail stick. Blend with cotton wool. Draw streaks on with cocktail stick. Ah, sod it. Bake.

14:35 Phew, the eyebrows don't look too bad. Let's try veins again. This time I try with a thin brush. Gaah! They're too thick! Try and wipe them off. They won't come off! Try blending with cotton wool.

14:40 Now it looks like a bruise. Try putting some blushing over it. Now it looks even MORE like a bruise. I have to fix this or the baby is going to look like a child abuse victim.

14:45 Wipe with acetone. The blue mostly comes off, but now the colour looks different to the rest. Dab some flesh and some blush on. Whatever, it'll do. While I'm at it I paint on some tear-ducts on eyelids (just a red dot) and add some more red on the tongue. Should I bake now? I might as well add some glazing first.

14:50 Do you have to thin the glazing or use it straight? Toss a coin. Use it straight. I glaze baby's lips, nose and corners of eyes. I try to add some glaze on the tongue too.

15:10 Gaah! The glaze made some of the red come off the tongue. And now I can't paint it on again. Wipe with cotton bud. Try again. Looks half-decent. Whatever. Bake.

Next step: Cut the eyelids open with a knife and stick its eyeballs in, then stick needles in its head.

.....To be continued

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Update

Oh my, it has been a while since I posted about how the family is doing. One would almost think I have a life! Allow me to rectify this misconception.

Matilda:
Matilda is lots of fun. She doesn't really do very many new things at this age, she rather seems to develop the skills she already has. Her speech is becoming more intricate and she is just hilarious. She is much better at doing puzzles and colouring. She tries to colour in the lines now. She is much better at feeding herself with a spoon.

Got Yoghurt?
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A couple of days ago, we were making a set of puzzles with jungle animals, and she got the idea of a creature called a "Crocaline" A Crocaline, if you are interested, is half lion and half crocodile. She thought that was too funny and now delights in telling everyone what the Crocaline says ("SNAProar! SNAProar!)
Some recent quotes include:

"We saw ourselves going on a walk today!" (We had seen two dogs going on a walk, and of course afterwards we were pretending to be dogs. This imaginary play makes for some interesting linguistic slips.)

"Mummy, dogs have puppies and boys have willies." (Well, what? They DO.)

-"What do you want for breakfast Matilda?"
-"I want some daddy! Let's call him on the phone and tell him. Daddy, come home so I can eat you!" (The most convincing argument ever, you have to agree.)

"Excuse mummy, Domino!" (When the cat didn't move out of my way quickly enough, Matilda had to tell him off.)

"I love you, husband!" (Heheh. Wonder who she got that from!)

Philip

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Ooh, Philip! Now he's the opposite of Matilda. New skills are coming strong and fast.

He's walking everywhere now.
He knows how to get up stairs and how to crawl down again afterwards. No more need for baby-gates!







He is saying quite a few words. His speech is not clear at all though, so you have to know him to understand him. Most commonly, he completely skips all consonants. When he wants to get down from anywhere he says "Eee ow". (get down.) He says Daddy, Nanny (Mummy), Ducky, Bye bye, Doggy, woof woof, schisch (cheese). He is very good at imitating sound though, and VERY good at repeating the pitch and rhythm of what we say. When Matilda counts, he imitates her: "aaa, ooo, eeee, ooo" (ooone, twooo, threee, fouuur.) It's hilarious. He doesn't say as much as Matilda did at his age, but (if it is possible) he is even more musical. He joins in and hums along recognisable songs. He loves dancing to music, and has certain favourites -notably a ballet DVD featuring Beatrix Potter characters.





He has a good appetite and is quite good at self feeding (You can give him a quartered sandwich, or a whole banana -if you don't mind him eating the skin too!) He is quite fussy about certain textures though. For example, he despises egg. He doesn't like slippery foods, like pasta (he couldn't be any more different than Matilda here, these are her two favourite foods.) He'll still eat those foods though, I just have to puree them for him. He eats what the rest of the family is eating every day now, and most of the time just chopped up in normal sized pieces.

Some photos from a lovely day at the beach recently (Not VERY recently, it is much warmer here now.)

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Artistic Interlude

An amusing insight into the dregs of a subculture that you may not have come across before: Reborns.
Some background: Reborns are a new and increasingly popular art form. Dolls that are expertly painted, filled, weighted and generally spruced up so that they look and feel extremely lifelike and similar to a newborn baby.

First, (so you can appreciate the examples below) here is what a "proper" reborn could look like:
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Or this:
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AND NOW... For your viewing pleasure:
HOW NOT TO REBORN. (Disclaimer: All the photographs that follow have been taken from real ebay auctions. They have not been tampered with in any way. These babies are out there, maybe one of them is even living nest to YOU.)

Advice on making a succesful reborn baby:

1. When designing your reborn, don't use Katie Price as a model:
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2. It's ok to stuff your reborn, but NOT to embalm it.
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3. NEVER reborn when you have a hangover.
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4. Remember to wipe all the tomato sauce off your hands before you reborn.
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5. AND don't forget to put your glasses on.
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6. Remember that you are NOT trying to sell your reborn to an X-Files affictionado (hopefully).
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7. It's called a REborn, not a STILLborn.
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