The Hapless Tourist

I was reading a couple of online tourist phrase books today (you know... because I had nothing to do with my day!) Among the usual "I would like a Coca-Cola" and "Which way to the _ Embassy please?" the following useful phrases were included:


GREETINGS:

Hello.
Good morning!
Good afternoon!
Good evening!
Call off your dogs!
SHOPPING: How much is this? That's too expensive. I can't afford it. I don't want it. . You're cheating me. I'm not interested. OK, I'll take it. (I suppose the merchant was about to release his dogs...) Authority: I haven't done anything wrong. It was a misunderstanding. Where are you taking me? Am I under arrest? I am an American/Australian/British/Canadian citizen. I want to talk to the American/Australian/British/Canadian embassy/consulate. I want to talk to a lawyer. Can I just pay a fine now? Just WHAT is this guy planning to do in his holiday?! Peter and I have just spent a merry evening shouting "It was a misunderstanding! Call off your dogs!"